After work, as soon as I arrived home, I laid down on the couch and just hibernated. I wrapped myself up in my blanket and read fanfic after fanfic. It’s been such a relief to be able to read a full story without becoming distracted or mindlessly exiting out of the story screen with no explanation at all for why I do what I do….

Yesterday I told a second person at work that my father died. She came to my office unexpectedly. I’m a pretty quiet person - I keep to myself. I don’t get involved in gossip nor am I nasty to people. I just do my job.

Sometimes - no matter what I'm doing in the moment, I'll just stop what I'm doing and think about the fact that I lived 2 miles away from my father for exactly two years and he never knew.

Yesterday was such a good day for me. I woke up with a clear plan which included:

• Playing the sims
• Working in the garden

Text from my mom

My father died a month ago. I just found out 53 minutes ago. He died on April 30th. The funeral took place on May 9th. Two days after my birthday.

I don't think I've told you this, or maybe I have, but I'm learning French. J'ai commencé à apprendre le français quand j'étais une étudiante à l'université. J’avais toujours de devenir bilingue. En lycée, j’ai essayu d’apprendre le japonaise et l’espagnol - mais les regles des langues n’ont jamais fait du sens.

Why is it so hard for people to take accountability? Are the words —

• I'm sorry
• My bad
• or I apologise.

-really that hard to utter.

I don't know how often I'll post on this thing. I don't know how active I'll be. Typically, when I impulsively do things like this — they crash and burn, but I got a little curious. I received a comment on an old LJ account from someone asking to join a revival community for LJ. I haven't been back on this site in almost 20 years. I think I last logged on in 2008. I don't even remember writing on here, but I do remember the content that I read about. It was nice seeing the pictures that I shared — many of the people that were featured, I've long forgotten about and the situations surrounding them...